Day two of my car's transmission overhaul. With Craig in Florida this week, I really can't afford to be without wheels. So I walked into my local Hertz and made the necessary arrangements. The salesguy was handsome, in a pretty sort of way, and as he loaded my carseats into the back of my new "freedom wagon" he commented that he didn't have kids yet.
"Oh, my husband and I didn't get our kids until I was thirty-five -- and HE was forty-five. We love them to death. Having said that, there is a REASON God gives babies to twenty-somethings. If you can, start early."
He smiled. "I'm thirty. I'll tell you, I would, but I have the worst luck with women. Just when I think I've found her, I found out she's been keeping something from me." His eyes told a different story: They were cold and hungry -- not the kind that is drawn to warmth and sustenance, the kind that drives it away. Maybe it was too many years in sales. Maybe it was naked ambition. Maybe it was my imagination. I don't know.
I took a chance. "You know, my husband didn't find me until he was forty-five, and he tells me that it was because he wasn't ready for me until then. He hadn't figured out how to be a good partner -- which is an important part of finding the right one. He read this book by Harville Hendrix, Keeping the Love You Find."
He paused. "Yeah, maybe I need to read a book... Something needs to change."
Today when I go back, I think I'll bring him a little something from my "relationship library." In a world where so many relationships fail, helping the stumblers (one blind person to another) is good for the world, don't you think?
Friday, July 01, 2005
“Let us look at our own shortcomings and leave other people’s alone, for those who live carefully ordered lives are apt to be shocked at everything, and we might well learn very important lessons from the persons who shock us.” Teresa of Avila